One of the subjects I've had to write about in this Sound Sex Project thesis is shame. Sexual shame, bodily shame, but of greatest note, musical shame. I have had to wonder, would anyone admit to liking really 'bad' music, let alone admit to having sex to it? Is there a line between ‘bad’ music that is acceptable due to its camp value or ironic hipster credit, versus songs that are pure abominations? Are people unwilling to share their questionable musical tastes? Do people have sex to their sonic guilty pleasures? Would someone be self-aware, or self-conscious enough to get up from a physical engagement and turn the speakers off if an embarrassing song came on?
While working on this project, I remembered one of my earliest sexual experiences colliding with my musical tastes. I was having a casual fling with a guy I had met online. We were in his apartment, engaging in some sexual activity, and his computer’s music player was on random. Suddenly, Chantal Kreviazuk’s cover of John Denver’s Leaving on a Jet Plane came on. I paused our fun and ran to the computer to change the song, explaining that I found it impossible to fool around to what I considered a sappy cover song that had appeared in a Bruce Willis/Ben Affleck blockbuster.
I've just finished reading Carl Wilson's "Let's Talk About Love: A Journey to the End of Taste," in which he tackles with perhaps the most uncool music we know of, that of Celine Dion. But can music be inherently 'bad'? If every person, child, music critic, and musician you know says that Celine is the worst of the worst, how did she sell out shows in Las Vegas for four years in a row? Perhaps this seems like a facile question, but Wilson's book is incredibly well-written, self-reflexive, interesting and thought-provoking. Are Celine's epic love songs the equivalent of the metal power ballad, but on estrogen? Because her identity as Quebecois is not recognized in the States, is she an invisible 'other'? What is so wrong with liking songs about love that aren't all tears, nihilism, emo, and end of the world? Do our musical preferences have more to do with class structures, rather than sonic palates? The answer may very well be at the end of taste, and as such, I highly recommend Wilson's book, which is part of the 33 1/3 series.
One might say that even Celine escapes the possibility of being liked in an ironic/and/or/hip way. Nor does she have the lengthy shelf-life to permit her to return to the scene with kitsch value. While Neil Diamond can make his way into hipster culture, Dion cannot. But who is monitoring the tastes of the hipster elite? I have just the answer for your.
http://thetragicallyunhip.wordpress.com
If you've ever been uncool as a Celine fan, are interested in purchasing hair-dye for pubic hair, or want to know more about the art of naming furniture at Ikea, this site based out of Montreal is ripe with musings, self-deprecating humour, failed romantic endeavours, and the never-ending curse of being uncool.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Artist: Puff Daddy and Jimmy Page
Song: Come With Me
Album: Godzilla soundtrack
from: anonymous
When living in New York City, I was faced with the challenge of sex partners unwilling to come home with me because I lived in the Bronx, a far-away, often dangerous neighbourhood. One night after going to my favourite club, I succeeded in luring someone the twenty subway stops home. He had a vague sense of humour, and a dark, inquisitive mind. He made it clear that he was game for whatever I had in mind.
We ended up arguing the whole ride home on the subway, after I told him I had said "congrats" to Ed Norton at the premiere of American History X that week. He got angry with me, saying that maybe Norton didn't want to be harrassed by fans like that. Our spat drove sexual tension high in me, and probably in him, too.
When we got to my place and undressed, I put on Come With Me (a re-tooled version of Led Zeppelin's Kashmir), a song that I had been thinking about having sex to, because of its intensity. I pressed play, and we got animalistic on each other. I quickly realized that for him, sex was about trust games involving eye contact. I let myself become sinister in his mind. It got pretty heavy in my windowless room, and he got this terrified look on his face.
"Stop," he said.
I pressed stop.
We went to sleep.
Song: Come With Me
Album: Godzilla soundtrack
from: anonymous
When living in New York City, I was faced with the challenge of sex partners unwilling to come home with me because I lived in the Bronx, a far-away, often dangerous neighbourhood. One night after going to my favourite club, I succeeded in luring someone the twenty subway stops home. He had a vague sense of humour, and a dark, inquisitive mind. He made it clear that he was game for whatever I had in mind.
We ended up arguing the whole ride home on the subway, after I told him I had said "congrats" to Ed Norton at the premiere of American History X that week. He got angry with me, saying that maybe Norton didn't want to be harrassed by fans like that. Our spat drove sexual tension high in me, and probably in him, too.
When we got to my place and undressed, I put on Come With Me (a re-tooled version of Led Zeppelin's Kashmir), a song that I had been thinking about having sex to, because of its intensity. I pressed play, and we got animalistic on each other. I quickly realized that for him, sex was about trust games involving eye contact. I let myself become sinister in his mind. It got pretty heavy in my windowless room, and he got this terrified look on his face.
"Stop," he said.
I pressed stop.
We went to sleep.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Changes to the Sound Sex Project
Hello
Up until now, the Sound Sex Project has only featured content involving a person's song choice, the song's artist, and any thoughts the participant was willing to share. While this has offered up a whole wealth of information about the links between sound, music, and sexuality, this methodology has been somewhat limiting.
After much discussion with my thesis advisor, and after receiving great feedback about the project at the conference for the International Association for the Study of Popular Music at Brock University, I have decided that it is finally time to change up how this blog will function.
First of all, when I began this project, I listed only one song per participant, even if they had more music to share. Therefore, I will post all extra songs.
Second of all, some participants have brought up the fact that they do not wish to divulge a particular song title, as that would put an end to their anonimity. Likewise, some people have written about soundtracks that are not necessarily in traditional song format. From now on, all types of stories or thoughts on sound and sexuality are welcome.
So, if you have already submitted something to the Sound Sex Project, please feel free to send in more stories/songs/sounds. If you have yet to participate in the project, new entires are always welcome. And please share the blog/spread the word whenever you can.
Thanks as always,
Mark Ambrose Harris
Up until now, the Sound Sex Project has only featured content involving a person's song choice, the song's artist, and any thoughts the participant was willing to share. While this has offered up a whole wealth of information about the links between sound, music, and sexuality, this methodology has been somewhat limiting.
After much discussion with my thesis advisor, and after receiving great feedback about the project at the conference for the International Association for the Study of Popular Music at Brock University, I have decided that it is finally time to change up how this blog will function.
First of all, when I began this project, I listed only one song per participant, even if they had more music to share. Therefore, I will post all extra songs.
Second of all, some participants have brought up the fact that they do not wish to divulge a particular song title, as that would put an end to their anonimity. Likewise, some people have written about soundtracks that are not necessarily in traditional song format. From now on, all types of stories or thoughts on sound and sexuality are welcome.
So, if you have already submitted something to the Sound Sex Project, please feel free to send in more stories/songs/sounds. If you have yet to participate in the project, new entires are always welcome. And please share the blog/spread the word whenever you can.
Thanks as always,
Mark Ambrose Harris
I have been involved with amusician for the last few months and what is striking is that unlike earlier situations, we never use music during sex (although I listen to his music sometimes when having fun alone). Instead, when together, we are both much more vocal than I have experienced before. This reminds me of how, with porn soundtracks, it is often the live vocalizations (not looped but synched) that turn me on the most, and their musicality in that context, the melodies, timbres & rhythms of moaning. A different kind of extended vocal practice.
from: anonymous
from: anonymous
Star Trek: The Next Generation
I'm not sure this will help since it's not technically a song, but this is one of my strongest sex memories. I once had sex while watching Star Trek: The Next Generation. It was very bad sex and ended in tears. Though I still love Star Trek, that particular eppisode always brings back bad memories.
from: anonymous
from: anonymous
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Artist: Hayden
Song: Stem
Album: Everything I Long For
from: Chloe Revere
okay, here goes. i lost my virginity on February 1st, 1997 to hayden's first record (everything i long for), this is a standout song: "stem"i was really into canadian indie rock, and it was almost as much a bonding point as sex itself with the person. if he liked the same music i liked, he was good in my books. not coincidentally, when we broke up 4 years later, he bought a rose and took off all the petals, left the petals scattered about and the cd in the player for me to listen to upon my return home. a romantic from beginning to end...him...me, and hayden.
my life has changed as i've grown older and so have the circumstances and purposes of my sexual encounters. i recently had an experience with a good friend, just for the sake of the act and a bit of fun, and we listened to a common band we love: lynyrd skynyrd. see "cry for the bad man" from the album 'gimme back my bullets'. the party tone of the album set the playful mood, the drunken lyrics matched our own states, and the aggressive nature of the southern rock set the pace for the ensuing sex. a good ol' time was had by all, not without the help of skynyrd.
also recently, i began seeing someone, on a more personal and intimate level. to ease any potential awkwardness of the first experience i played iron & wine's latest record, the shepherd's dog, which opens with "pagan angel and a borrowed car". mellow but not romantic, dark enough to not be cheesy but not dark enough to be morose...definitely opened the door for some mature, spectacular, mutually appreciated sex.
Song: Stem
Album: Everything I Long For
from: Chloe Revere
okay, here goes. i lost my virginity on February 1st, 1997 to hayden's first record (everything i long for), this is a standout song: "stem"i was really into canadian indie rock, and it was almost as much a bonding point as sex itself with the person. if he liked the same music i liked, he was good in my books. not coincidentally, when we broke up 4 years later, he bought a rose and took off all the petals, left the petals scattered about and the cd in the player for me to listen to upon my return home. a romantic from beginning to end...him...me, and hayden.
my life has changed as i've grown older and so have the circumstances and purposes of my sexual encounters. i recently had an experience with a good friend, just for the sake of the act and a bit of fun, and we listened to a common band we love: lynyrd skynyrd. see "cry for the bad man" from the album 'gimme back my bullets'. the party tone of the album set the playful mood, the drunken lyrics matched our own states, and the aggressive nature of the southern rock set the pace for the ensuing sex. a good ol' time was had by all, not without the help of skynyrd.
also recently, i began seeing someone, on a more personal and intimate level. to ease any potential awkwardness of the first experience i played iron & wine's latest record, the shepherd's dog, which opens with "pagan angel and a borrowed car". mellow but not romantic, dark enough to not be cheesy but not dark enough to be morose...definitely opened the door for some mature, spectacular, mutually appreciated sex.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Artist: Patrick Watson
Song: Daydreamer
Album: Close to Paradise
from: Laura
A sexual encounter for me makes it's own music.
I like background music while engaging in sex or better making love but usually I personally am more imbued in the sex than what's going on around. I even wonder if the connection is good if you are paying more attention to the music than to the other person.
That being said, as Selin pointed out, background music does retain a lot of significance after the act.
If anything hearing the songs I lived intensely to will unconsciously revive my sexual appetite and maybe even bliss.
So if I had to choose one I would say Patrick Watson's Daydreamer.
Song: Daydreamer
Album: Close to Paradise
from: Laura
A sexual encounter for me makes it's own music.
I like background music while engaging in sex or better making love but usually I personally am more imbued in the sex than what's going on around. I even wonder if the connection is good if you are paying more attention to the music than to the other person.
That being said, as Selin pointed out, background music does retain a lot of significance after the act.
If anything hearing the songs I lived intensely to will unconsciously revive my sexual appetite and maybe even bliss.
So if I had to choose one I would say Patrick Watson's Daydreamer.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Artist: Ratatat
Song: Swisha
Album: Classics
From: Selin
A 26 year old mainly straight pretty lady, who made love to this ratatat album, starting with swisha, the first time her and her long distance lover met after months of corresponding. it was the first bout of music that he had introduced me to via email and i often listened to it while i missed him, alone in my big city. coincidentally (perhaps not?), it was playing when we finally met, got past the talking and into the most electric sex i'd ever had.
every time this album plays, i get waves of nostalgia and an inherent sensation of feeling loved. whereas our relationship no longer exists, the tangent feeling of what was really does remain in musical association. it's such a nice memory to have.
Song: Swisha
Album: Classics
From: Selin
A 26 year old mainly straight pretty lady, who made love to this ratatat album, starting with swisha, the first time her and her long distance lover met after months of corresponding. it was the first bout of music that he had introduced me to via email and i often listened to it while i missed him, alone in my big city. coincidentally (perhaps not?), it was playing when we finally met, got past the talking and into the most electric sex i'd ever had.
every time this album plays, i get waves of nostalgia and an inherent sensation of feeling loved. whereas our relationship no longer exists, the tangent feeling of what was really does remain in musical association. it's such a nice memory to have.
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